Translation of Peng Shuai's original post on Weibo
Hey, I know there's already a translation of Peng Shuai's post in this sub, and it's fairly good. However, I wanted to do a more direct, literal translation with annotations. Since this translation is more direct, the English will be pretty awkward, since I am prioritizing retaining the order and structure of her original post.
Edit: Addressing the criticism since I think it's valid. First of all, I have to admit that I'm not a professional translator, so there could be some mistakes. However, I wouldn't consider this an interpretation. In fact, I tried as best as I could to not interpret and only translate directly.
Unlike in English, most literate Chinese writers use a lot of set phrases (eg chengyu) so sometimes there's just no semantic equivalent. There are also cases where she relies on shared cultural knowledge to imply something, so I have to explain it.
The original post also has some referential ambiguity, which I indicated in annotations. Maybe you'd expect that someone talking about how they got raped would write more clearly, but this is just how she wrote. To me, it's an emotional appeal, an appeal to cultural values and norms, not a legalistic one.
I know (it) can't be said clearly, and saying it is useless. But I still want to speak. How unbearably hypocritical(1) I am. I admit that I am not a good girl. I am a very, very bad girl. About 3 years ago, Vice Premier Zhang Gaoli, you retired. You found Dr. Liu from the Tianjin Tennis Centre and contacted me (through him). Then you made an appointment to play tennis with me in the Kangming Building in Beijing(2). After we finished playing in the morning, you and your wife Kang Jie took me to your place. Then you took me to a room in your home, just like when we were in Tianjin over ten years ago, to have sexual relations with me(3).
(1) Hypocritical isn't an exact translation here. This word describes someone who pretends to have feelings or beliefs that they don't actually hold. Kind of like two-faced or politically duplicitous. Essentially, what she's saying is, since she's already admitting that she's a "bad girl", she doesn't feel like she has the right to complain about what has happened to her, but she's doing it anyway.
(2) Quick google search shows Kangming Dasha as a hotel in Wangfujing (area in Beijing). Not sure about this.
(3) She says this in a rather roundabout way: "you took me to a room... to have sexual relations occur on you and me". (I believe it's a standard euphemism, but it sounds weird and mechanical in chinese as well.)
That afternoon, I was extremely scared. I completely couldn't imagine it would be like this, with someone outside guarding the door. Because no one could imagine that your wife would be willing. Seven years ago, we had sexual relations once. Then you were promoted to the Standing Committee, went to Beijing, and didn't contact me again. Originally, I had buried this matter in my heart. Since you had no plans at all to take responsibility, why would you come back to look for me, take me to your place, and force me to have (sexual) relations with you? It is me, who does not have any evidence, and completely could not leave any evidence. Later, you kept denying it, but it was truly you who liked me first. Otherwise, I couldn't have possibly met you(4).
(4) This is kind of challenging to translate, but essentially, she's saying that if he didn't fancy her first, then there's no way she could have organically met him. She simply doesn't have the opportunity. The implication is that this is her evidence, that the relationship itself was not really consensual or normal.
That afternoon, I did not agree from the start, and I was crying the whole time. I ate dinner with you and Aunt Kang Jie. You said the universe is very, very big, and the earth is merely a grain of sand in the universe. We humans are not even a grain of sand. You said many, many things, just to let me put down my thoughts and burdens. After dinner, I was still not willing. You said you hated me! And you also said that in the past seven years, you had never forgotten me, and you would treat me well, and so on. ...I was afraid, and panicked, and carrying the feelings I had for you seven years before, I agreed. ...Yes, it's just that we had sexual relations.
Feelings are a very complicated thing and can't be explained clearly. From that day onward, I once again opened my love to you. And in the days we spent together afterward, only speaking of getting along with you, you were a very, very good person. You were also pretty good to me. We talked from modern history to ancient times. You talked to me about the knowledge of all things, from economics to philosophy, an endless number of topics. Together, we played chess, sang songs, played table tennis and billiards. And when we played tennis, we could always play to the point of bliss. Our personalities were so harmonious that it seemed as if everything fit together perfectly.
I left home at a very young age as a child, and I had an extreme lack of love, deep down inside. Facing all of this, I never once thought I was a good girl. I hated myself, hated why I came to this world to experience this time (as a human)(5). You tell me that you love me, that you love me very, very much and hope in the next life, we will meet when you are 20 and I am 18(6). You say that you are very lonely, and you are very pitiful by yourself. We have days when our conversations cannot finish, and conversations where there are endless things to say. You say that in your position, there is no way to divorce. If we met in Shandong(7), you could still get a divorce, but now there is no way. I thought of accompanying you like this in obscurity. At first it was ok, but as the days went on, they slowly changed, filled with too much injustice and insult. Every time you let me go (to your place), behind your back, how many ugly and insulting things your wife said to me, all kinds of ridicule and mockery. I said I like to eat duck tongue, and Aunt Kang Jie would tell me ~haha so disgusting. In winter, there is smog in Beijing, so I said that sometimes the air is not very good. Aunt Kang Jie would tell me, that's your suburb. We don't notice it here. And so on, and so on, she said many, many things like that. When you were there, she didn't speak in that way. It seemed just like us. When there were only the two of us, it was one way, and when there were others, you treated me another way. I told you before that after hearing too many of these things, inside my heart, I felt very uncomfortable and wronged.
(5) A Buddhist term which translates in English to an "aeon".
(6) Traditional chinese ages of adulthood for men and women, respectively.
(7) When Zhang Gaoli was Party Secretary of Shandong, he was still in a relatively low-key position in the provinces, so he could get a divorce. On the other hand, as a high-ranking public-facing cadre that represents the CCP, he would not be able to divorce.
From the first day I met you until now, I haven't used a cent of your money. And even more so, I haven't gotten any benefits or gains through you. But one's standing(8) is really important. It serves me right, and I take all the humiliation upon myself. From start to finish, you had me keep everything about our relationship a secret. Even more so, I couldn't tell my mother that we had a relationship, because every time, she was the one who sent me to Church of the Saviour. Then I would have to change to your car before going to your place. The whole time, she believed I was going to play mahjong and cards, that I was going to your place to play. In each other's lives, we are completely transparent(9) people. Your wife is like the Empress of Zhen Huan Chuan(10), but I can't even describe how unbearably (bad) I am. I often think, am I even still a person? I feel like a walking dead, pretending, pretending every day, which me is the real me? I shouldn't have come into this world, but I don't have the courage to die. It seems that I could have a simpler life, but things don't go according to my wishes.
(8) The word here means something like standing, status, or reputation. It's not clear to me if she's talking about her own lack of status (as a mistress) or Zhang Gaoli's political position. The former seems slightly more likely but it makes sense either way.
(9) People who don't matter, passersby.
(10) A TV series, called Empresses in the Palace in English.
On the night of the 30th, we had a big argument. You said that we would meet at your place in the afternoon on the 2nd and talk about it slowly. Today, you called at noon, and said you had something to do and we could meet again. Shirking everything, the excuse was that we could meet again on another day… just like this, you would "disappear" like seven years ago. After playing until you had enough, you would throw it away. You said that there is no transaction between us. Yes, our feelings have nothing to do with money or power. But the feelings of these past three years, I have no place to calmly put them down, and they are difficult to face. You are always afraid that I will bring a recorder, leaving evidence or something. Yes, besides myself, I did not leave any evidence, no audio recording, no video, only my distorted real experience. I know that for you, the high-ranking and powerful Vice Premier Zhang Gaoli, you said that you are not afraid. But even if it is like an egg hitting against a rock, or a moth flying into a flame, a self-defeating exercise, I will still speak out the truth about us. With your IQ and strategies, you will definitely deny it or get retribution on me, you can be absolutely cynical. You always say that you hope your mother could protect you from the heavens. I am a bad girl, and I am not worthy of being a mother. You are a father of a son and a daughter. I asked you, even if it is your adopted daughter, would you do her like this? Can you face your mother with peace of mind after all the things you have done in this life? We are all very respectable(11) people…
(11) The phrase here means respectable, solemn, and saintly, but it is typically used in an ironic sense now.
A lot of news articles I've read have gotten details wrong, so here's a summary.
~10 years ago (around 2011, when Zhang Gaoli was Party Secretary in Tianjin): Zhang Gaoli and Peng Shuai have an affair. Peng Shuai says that they have sex once.
2012: Zhang Gaoli becomes part of the Standing Committee, goes to Beijing, and ghosts Peng Shuai.
2018: ~7 years later, Zhang Gaoli retires. He meets Peng Shuai again and then has nonconsensual sex with her. Afterward, she becomes his mistress.
2021: Peng Shuai makes the Weibo post.